Seriously, why do we even drink?
Look, we’re big fans of a great beverage here at Not Serious. While wine is a focus, we sure do love a mezcal margarita too. As we start a new year and see the annual influx of endless articles about “how to survive Dry January” or Instagram posts on personal resolutions to drink less, we wondered, if celebrating the silly season makes us all feel like we should slow down or even stop completely, why do we even drink at all?
Excessive alcohol consumption has long term consequences. It fucks with your mind, body and spirit. If you’re overly imbibing on the daily then it’s highly likely it adds a great deal of the dys to your function when it comes to your personal relationships. And to really rub the ethanol into the overly exposed wound, medically speaking drinking in moderation doesn’t even really cut the mustard. More than 800 New Zealanders die each year from alcohol related illness with the rate being highest in men and a disproportionate death rate for Māori.
I’m not going to lie, there are times when I feel promoting alcohol is incredibly irresponsible. Part of the decision to write this article came from my own personal conundrum of wanting to drink a lot less while also wanting to continue to enjoy a beautifully balanced, well-made, delicious albarino without feeling like an arsehole.
When I was doing some research for this piece, I came across an article in Esquire by Robert Evans. Evans’ article started from the same place as me — dire statistics that made me feel conflicted. But he took the weight of the topic and gave it some light-humoured, factual brevity before he went a bit off-piste and shared recipe for a DIY old school palm tree alcoholic elixir that is believed to an origin source of booze. It was low alc and according to Evan’s (who had a crack at making it) it was ‘fucken awful’.
Nothing he, nor I write will change the stats but reading his piece did remind me why Not Serious Wine Chats was started in the first place — to help educate those interested for a better experience and doing so without judgement. The deal is to create a place where wine curious folk can learn stuff, meet and support producers doing good things and most importantly, drink better not drink more. And so I continue...
In his Esquire article, Evans takes it right back before people were even involved in the booze biz. He references a scientific theory called the Drunken Monkey Hypothesis that outlines how our tree-climbing, highly energetic primate ancestors (along with other animals) sought out fermenting fruit based largely on its calorific offering. The scent of fermenting fruit indicates food is at its most calorific. A by-product of fermentation, surprise surprise, is ethanol. “Our ability to metabolize ethanol, and thus get drunk, originated in the very first primates on earth.” Evans goes onto to suggest that the research eludes to the reality that as we evolved “We started our relationship with alcohol because it made us less likely to starve to death.”
If archaeology has taught us anything it’s that human beings have had some sort of vice from the minute we worked out how to cover the undercarriage with a pair of animal skin undies. We know we were pretty quick to learn how to chew a coca leaf for a wee buzz and poppies were grown for opium early in our history along with drugs like marijuana. Psilocybin and Ayahuasca, uber fash with the Goop crowd et al right now, have been around for a bloody long time. But that’s another article. *
It does seem unlikely though, that we were scoffing fermented fruit simply to get shit faced. Getting fat to survive is seriously logical but one would think you’d want to stay compos mentis in a world where a herd of Elephants could stampede your squad to death. Based on that premise, perhaps we started enjoying the booze buzz once we’d cultivated crops producing (hopefully) consistent food (calorie) supply and we’d started living in more secure environs. While the calorie factor of a mug of mead was still surely desirable perhaps it was less important because we could make tacos and the actual booze buzz simply became a bonus.
[Note: my research also revealed that the opposite could be true. That alcoholic drinks predated agriculture and in fact, it was the desire for booze that prompted agriculture advancement as we desired a better and more reliable supply of fruit to ferment and that that is what actually led to civilisation. It feels a bit arse about kite or cart before horse to me although again, having some fat storage back in the day would have been pretty vital so you can imagine creating a guaranteed supply was a focus. It’s pretty fascinating to think about.]
While it seems we can’t pinpoint exactly when we first actually started to make our own alcoholic beverages, evidence suggests that our ancient ancestors were giving it a pretty good nudge a very long time before JC was turning water in wine.
It’s widely agreed that it was around 7000 BC when folk got really serious about actually engaging the practice of production. What we now know as Eastern Europe, specifically the likes of Georgia appear to have been early adopters of cultivating vitis vinifera (that’s grape vine for y’all). The egg-shaped clay vessels that are so in vogue right now originated in Georgia. Holding 1000 litres of wine the clay eggs (actually called Qvevri) were (and still are) buried underground for temperature consistency and to age. This Georgian traditional winemaking method is now included in UNESCO world heritage list.
Archaeological digs in the Fertile Crescent have revealed substantial proof that we enjoyed a jar or two at least 10,000 years ago and in some sort of convergent evolution our penchant for a pisco or the likes transcended location and cultures as brewing and distilling occurred all over the globe somewhat simultaneously. The Chinese were celebrating happy hour at the same time as the Aztecs and the Egyptians. It is worthy to note that not all cultures used alcohol the same way and there were some places around the planet that were either slow out of the gates or decided against introducing the devil’s drop into their daily routine for religious reasons.
Aside from adding calories to the diet, it has been suggested that early civilisations relied heavily on wine for hydration where a good source of water was either non-existent or the water was unsafe to drink. However, it’s pretty hard to find facts that actually support this. Gin and other spirits are also included in this speculation but after digging around the internet for an hour or two, it does seem to be ill-founded. There are notes that early Sailors used Rum to kill bacteria in water and that feels like it makes sense for sure.
Our good old pals, the Romans, masters of manoeuvring water via aqueducts and the earliest of us to plumb the crib, considered wine a daily necessity despite good water supply. So perhaps they had the best of both worlds, one water, one wine. Perhaps they hydrated with water and simply enjoyed a drop of the vinum rubrum as something of a tonic, much the same way we use it today. Interestingly, it does appear that Romans loved a wine spritzer. Apparently seawater was commonly added to wine resulting in two things: it would make the wine weaker (given what we know they achieved in a week at the office, the Roman Empire can’t have been pissed the entire time) and it is also widely speculated that the wine made in these early times was also pretty full bore and a just bit fucken awful. It’s very likely the water was added to simply make it palatable.
To conclude, I’m not sure this has answered the question at hand. Why do we even drink? The origins appear legit. Most things we do have started out as survival right? It certainly does explain the direct correlation between the appearance of tummy fat after a week on the sauce. But with the advent of the Golden Arches on every street corner, calorie counting isn’t why we drink now. In fact, there’s a whole bloody topsy turvy movement in the booze industry to make wine that is low carb just so you can drink and not get too lardy. Strewth. Please, put that shit down and chose something made by someone legit who makes wine simply to be delicious. drink less of it and then, you know, go for a walk to stop your liver from becoming foie gras.
It would appear we’re a long way from the original drive to drink and that’s ok. It’s a reflection of a privileged existence. Wine is a luxury and it should be treated as so. One thing’s for sure, a charcuterie selection sure does taste best with a beautifully crafted, super tasty, salty fino sherry to wash it down. Let’s just celebrate that the occasional drop of something delicious can bring a small moment of joy — especially when paired with something gastronomically gratifying.
Homage to the history of drinking.
a couple of suggestions to help you drink less but drink better.
The OGs (Original Georgians) — Get a load of what UNESCO is talking about and try yourself something from Georgia. Teliani Valley Kisi Qvevri Glekhuri is an amber wine made the way the Georgians of 8000 BC made their gear. Dry finish but nutty and spicy it sounds super delicious. Pair with sheep’s milk cheese, a little tarragon and some almonds.
The Ancient Greeks — The Greeks weren’t especially mentioned (although should have been) but in name of ancient peeps, and it’s an Olympic year, it feels right to give a shout out to a culture responsible for a spot of track and field. Petrakopoulos Gold Zakynthino 2019 is a cracker. Organically farmed, non irrigated, incredible old Zakynthino vines, this wine is a rare find. Get your laughing gear around a glass as you try to pronounce the grape variety. Pair with stuffed vine leaves and slow roasted lamb with a little greek yoghurt.
Those Pre-Hispanic Mexicans — Pay too much for a lime at the supermarket and get in the mood for some Aztec love. Give a great tequila a go. Described as a ‘bucket list’ tequila the Fortaleza Anejo Tequila is a bit spenny but worth it. Pour a small shot in a small shot glass and sip — don’t shoot! This is about savouring the flavour por favor.
The Sweet life according to Pliny — The Romans knew how to live life. Take a vine leaf out of their head gear and get your noggin around this sweet selection. La Dolce Vida — only a triple hit of some delicious Italian doozies to ensure you can properly indulge in a little dolce far niente this Summer. Pair with an overly ambitious antipasto.
* If you want to read more on Psilocybin and Ayahuasca, rather than relying solely on Goop, a much more comprehensive read is How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan. He’s written a number of books on food and health and is a riveting writer. Highly recommend!
Sources:
The Scientific History of Why Humans Love to Drink Booze, Robert Evans, Esquire, General Google / Wikipedia searches for — Romans, Aztecs, History of Wine, History of Alcohol, Georgian wine.
we’re super grateful to our pals at antipodes water company. they supply us with the good water for our chats. antipodes is an artesian water that contains no chemicals, and when you’re pouring an organic wine that is gold. the mineral content also keeps the palate fresh so you can taste the wine the way the winemaker and nature intended you to. thanks antipodes, you’re the bomb. antipodes.co.nz
If you’re struggling to put that glass down and drinking is affecting the fun for you or your friends and family, then please contact Te Whatu Ora for help. ♥️
